just when you think you are ready to leave a place, a state of mind, a town, a country, a friend, a lover, that thing that you were going to leave changes, right before your eyes, and it reminds of you all its beauty and all its simplicity and all its ridiculous reasons that made it into the thing you loved and then you still have to decide! it happens on purpose, to make you absolutely sure. am i sure??
on another note, not quite so different, my hair has decided, on its own, completely independent of myself (its owner?) and without asking questions or permissions to anyone (yes, hair can ask its questions)... to turn inself into something else than what i was planning for it to be. and i start to feel guilty that for so long i was deciding for it, what color it should be and how long it should grow, without wondering how it wanted to be, when left alone to fend for itself, (yes, my hair, kind of like an abandoned tiger cub) and i finally found out! the dark ink-stained ends of my hair were like the old roots of a tree and it was time for them to be freed of their weight and freed of their aging souls! i shall give them what they want, i will let the sun bleach them if thats the destiny the sun sees in their future! and i will cut them all off to give them the fresh start they've been beggin' for! (and if it's not, then they will grow back wild and free, like me!)
well its just that sometimes i think that i am bigger than the sound
i might need to invest in a pair of vampire teeth.
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